This last week has been bat-shit fucking crazy busy. In fact it’s difficult to know where to start. I’m bound to forget something, but let me give it a try.
Little Turd
The little Turd is no more, at least not in name. At the start of the week I went up to the boat yard and added stickers bearing the new, official name of the Little Turd. She is now named: Creeping Depth. I also received the official registration number stickers for her. The boat is now completely legal to use on the water. The official naming ceremony is happening in June for Junior’s birthday where he will take official ownership of the boat.
Nancy the Brand Manager
There is a new Beasty Crew Member. Her name is Nancy and she is the official Brand Manager for beastinthehead.com. She is your stereotypical Essex bird. Mandy has already appeared in a few videos. Check Insta out.
Brand Awareness
Corvetti, god bless her, has been trying to teach me the ins and outs of brand awareness. She’s getting there, slowly, because I haven’t got a fucking clue and I think I am the funniest motherfucker on the planet. I think she wants to strangle me at times. I definitely know she’s had her head in her hands more than a few times.
Anyway I have some branded stickers which I’ve been chucking about. Junior and I have been going to the pub with our Beasty caps too. Jeff Bezos watch out!
Online Store
I have set up an online store. It currently only has 6 products. The store has not launched yet, it’s ready to go, but I have done a test purchase to ensure the quality of the merch is good enough to sell. It’s all done via drop shipping, so essentially all the production and shipping is completely handled by a 3rd party via a Shopify store. I’ve managed to keep the prices as low as possible. Yes I want to make a little money for the Beasty Beer Fund, but I also don’t want to be butt-fucking those people nice enough to support me. Here’s a taste of some of the products:
Boat Mould
The absolute biggest news of the week by far. I am now in possession of a boat mould. I alluded to it in a previous post. Essentially I now own the means to build, and potentially sell boats. That’s not going to happen for a while, I have to acquire the skills to do so, and hen perfect them. Myself, Junior and Booger have gone in three ways to purchase said mould. Not because it was expensive, it wasn’t, it only cost £80 and that included delivery. I thought it would be a good little side-quest for them to make some pocket money, and should things kick-off (unlikely)then they may be able to make a living from it should they wish to do so.
We’re also going to have a bit of fun with it. In fact in the next few days I am going to be announcing a competition where one lucky, randomly selected subscriber or follower will be in with a chance to win the very first boat we build from the mould. I’m still working out the details but they’ll be up in due course.
The mould itself is in a bit of a state, nothing that can’t be sorted, even with my rudimentary skills. The mould has been sitting out in the elements at Northweald Airfield for a few years, hence the price.I discovered this weekend that the mould can be used to build two different lengths of boat. Which gives us options. Bigger is better, so I’ve been told.
The problem I’ve had is storage. I’ve had to move Fiesta Fiesta out of the garage and completely blitz the garage to make space for the mould. I’ve even had to use a drill. Always a risk of disaster, but I managed it without too many clusterfucks.
Beasty Tarantino
I have recorded most of the events of this week, and some of you are probably sick to the back teeth of my blatant spamming of my attention whoring. It’s all part of trying to build a bigger audience. I fucking loathe being on camera though, but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make. Not sure how many people will take to my dirty Sarf Effrican accent and my vile, immature sense of humour. But, I quite literally couldn’t give a sideways flying fuck.
That’s your lot!
Booyaka Motherfuckers!