It’s been a while I know. That doesn’t mean nothing has been going on. Apart from falling in love (Yes, with an actual girl) and having an actual life I have been doing stuff with the boat. I’m no longer with my beloved (the actual girl) and my life has pretty much come to a complete stop for additional reasons so I’ve had time to go back to the boat to “do shit” as well as catch up with all the writing I need to do.
Refresher: Some fucking moron accidentally bought a boat and thought, and still thinks he can get that motherfucker all floaty ‘n shit. So where did we get to in the end? Aaah yes! The Move. Right, so we’re all caught up now?
Let’s get this show on the motherfucking road then.
Dude, no one in their right mind would strip for you!
I’m not opposed to doing her stripping for her!
So, the new home is good. With both electricity and water supply nearby it makes being a Boat Wanker much easier. I’ve actually had to buy tools and not from Love Honey or Bondara. Always a good thing I suppose. How those tools work I have no clue. But I have them. So, my magical fingers have actually managed to undress a woman without the use of Rohypnol. Another good thing. Here she is fully dressed.
After a really cheesy pick up line about her eyes she allowed me to scoop them out with one of my “tools”. Both my Director of Operations, Zed and I thought she had the bluest eyes ever. Turns out the shallow cow was wearing contacts. The blue you see is a protective film.
After much swearing, screaming and cursing at the previous owner I managed to… Hang on, let me give you my opinion of the previous owner first. A weapons grade fuckwit is the only polite way I can describe him. I’m assuming said fuckwit was or is a Boat Wanker. As such you’d think he’d know what the hell he was doing. It turns out that possibly that’s not quite how shit went down. In my quest to strip her down to her bare essentials I discovered that said fuckwit had a few short-term shortcuts in several areas, not least of all managing to fibreglass over some nuts and bolts. This fuckwittery has resulted in me being unable to take some small bits off of the boat.
All in all I managed to make short shrift of stripping her down, so much easier to work with electric tools rather than elbow power. Pretty soon I had a treasure trove of her accoutrement at my feet and I was getting really excited at the prospect of finally seeing her naked.